5 Ways You Can Support A Friend Who Is Going Through Hard Times
Hey there, lovely humans! We all have those moments when life throws us a curveball, and having a supportive friend can make a world of difference. If you're wondering how to be that rock for someone you care about, here are five heartfelt tips to help you navigate through their tough times together.
1. Active Listening
What To Do
Put away distractions like your phone or TV when your friend is talking. Sit comfortably facing them and looking at them while they’re speaking so that they know you’re engaged in the conversation.
What To Say
“I’m here for you. Tell me more about what’s going on.”
“Let me make us a coffee and we can sit for a while and talk.”
When our friends are going through difficult times or situations, we want to help elevate their pain or remove the burden. So, a lot of the time we go straight to let’s make an action plan or what we can do physically in the moment. However, sometimes simply having someone to sit and listen is what is most needed. Listening without interruption, judgement or solution focusing can be so refreshing in a world full of opinions and judgements on what we should and shouldn’t do while going through something. Simply listening may be all your friend needs right now.
2. Show Empathy
What To Do
Acknowledge your friend’s emotions without judgment. Holding their hand or giving a hug can provide immense comfort. Reflect back what you hear to validate their feelings and let them know you understand.
What To Say
“I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. I’m here for you and with you through this.”
“It’s completely understandable that you feel this way. Anyone in your situation would feel the same.”
Maybe your friend has lost a loved one, and when you don’t want to say the usual “I’m sorry for your loss”, it’s hard to know what to say. A simple hand hold or hug and saying, "I can't imagine what you're going through, but I'm here for you." May be a small gesture, but it can mean a lot for someone to know that they are not alone, even when it feels that way. A friend that’s gone through a breakup without closure might just want their feelings heard and validated, and that can come from you by showing empathy and listening to their feelings and emotions.
3. Offer Practical Help
What To Do
Identify tasks or responsibilities that you can take over to reduce their burden, like looking after odd jobs that might be adding to their stress. Be proactive in offering help rather than waiting for them to ask.
What To Say
“I noticed you’re overwhelmed. Let me help you with something.”
“You have a lot on your plate right now. What can I do to lighten the load?”
Is your friend swamped with work and family responsibilities on top of what they are going through? When we fall on hard times, even the simplest of daily jobs or tasks can make everything so much more challenging. Offering to pick up their shopping or run a few errands for them can really lighten the load. Even dropping off a home cooked meal for them can be a helpful way of making sure they feel supported.
4. Encourage Self-Care
What To Do
Suggest activities that help them to relax and recharge, like a walk, a bath, or a favorite hobby. Remind them of the importance of looking after their mental health. Plan to do something together.
What To Say
“How about we go for a walk? It might help clear your mind.”
“You’ve been working so hard. Let’s make some time to hang out.”
Plan a spa day for a friend who is feeling overwhelmed. Host a sit in meal or hang out for all of their friend group to show up and show them love while going through this rough period. Ask them if they’ve gone for walks or had some fresh air today or offer to do a gym session with them.
5. Be Patient
What To Do
Avoid pressuring them to talk if they’re not ready. Let them know you’re available when they are. Encourage them to balance alone time and social time to navigate through this difficult period.
What To Say
“It’s okay if you need some time alone. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
“I understand you’re going through a lot. There’s no rush to figure everything out right now.”
Maybe your friend needs space to process a breakup. Maybe your friend needs time to grieve. Whatever the hardship or struggle, sometimes people just need space and time to get through it. Let them know and remind them that you are there when they want to talk or offer to sit with them and not talk. They will appreciate the patience and time you have kindly given them to work through it,
Practicing these techniques, you can create a nurturing environment where you friend feels understood and supported through these stressful or challenging times.
It’s about being there for each other, because it won’t always be like this, maybe one day you’ll need them... and now you’ve set the tone and giving an example of how to help when or if you or another friend ever needs it.
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Sending Peace and Love
